A statement issued by HRC Honda this morning confirmed rumours that Dani Pedrosa has undergone radical leg surgery to help him reach the same heights as his champion teammate Marc Márquez – literally. Pedrosa’s diminutive size has been a constant disadvantage since his move to MotoGP, making it hard for him to generate tyre heat. Being shorter than Márquez has also restricted opportunities for the two to share set-up data, but that is all about to change as of today.
In what is believed to be a first in any professional sport, the femur bones in Pedrosa’s legs have been lengthened by 100mm. Even more startling is the revelation that Honda provided Pedrosa with the means to reach new heights via its Advanced Function Development (AFD) laboratory, which has created a synthetic material that instantly bonds with human bone. A lab-made enzyme then speeds recovery by as much as 500 per cent. This space-age technology means a much lankier and fully recovered Pedrosa will be ready to take to the track in Argentina in less than a week.
Pedrosa confirmed the radical surgery was his idea, a last-ditch effort to claim an elusive MotoGP crown. “For sure having longer legs will allow me to ride the bike more like Márquez,” Pedrosa said. “But also there are other benefits – to see on top of the fridge, to put my feet on the ground when I sit in the chair, and not shopping in the kids’ clothing section at Costco anymore. I can even start playing basketball.”
AMCN has also received information from a reliable source within Honda suggesting this isn’t Pedrosa’s first visit to the AFD. In 2016 the Spaniard claimed to have undergone surgery to rectify arm-pump issues. Our source revealed this was actually the first part of a two-part surgical procedure code-named Operation Hightower. Not wanting to be left with unusually short arms in comparison to his new longer legs, Pedrosa has had his arms lengthened by 90mm. The lengthy delay (pun intended) between surgeries is due to the strain the bone-lengthening procedure places on the body’s immune system. This also explains why Pedrosa is almost always seen in public with his arms folded – to stop his knuckles from dragging on the ground.
With the world’s first head transplant now almost certain to become a reality, AMCN wonders if riders will choose to swap their ageing bodies for younger and fitter versions to extend their careers for as long as their brains can continue to function at the highest level of the sport.
